Valerie Rae Jupe Apologizes [02 Jan 2009|12:21pm] I am sorry that I so often view life as a tragedy. That I wake immobilized by anxiety and un-place-able, implacable fear of the world. That I view so many periods as things to 'get through' or that I let days and weeks pass trying to hide under the fabric of life and time. I apologize for even this - as I know it is my common way of negativity. I apologize. I know I am tiring, and I am sorry. post comment

[02 Jan 2009|02:09pm] Fog has taken up residence over our state. Though at times it gets dolled up for a night out on the town and leaves us only with a white sky and a bleak amount of sickly light. I remember being younger - let us say even I remember ten years ago - and headlights dipping into patches of thin spider-woven swaths of fog as my tires ran along the pavement - taking my first boyfriend home on school nights. Music was bubble gum rock and lonely through a fake happiness. Though I was happy to sing to it - my first boyfriend riding shotgun, patiently listening to me squeak out the lyrics to Eagle Eye Cherry as I took him home. Now I look out the dirty windows of this house to a sky without airplanes. My train pass is here but my trip is delayed - because I am charmed enough in my life with the ability to pay only a few hundred dollars for a trip to Europe - but chained by the same opportunity as I fly standby, and all the flights are full for the next several days. (I in fact see no green-light-go at all). It is a strange thing. So I got hugs from my parents and still do have errands to run. I suppose I could reorganize my room here. Why not - Mom and Dad both happily recount all I have accomplished since I've been here in the way of cleaning out my closet, buying these necessary things (this tiny laptop I am currently typing on), even bought a bathing suit to wear in the thermal baths of Romania... And clearly accomplished (if we can use that word) other things - Eurail pass bought and arrived - cell phone waiting to be picked up at Fedex (it should have been delivered today), other errands I'm sure, a hard drive to back up the laptop I will ship out to get fixed today. I had an enjoyable new year once I let myself - get out of the house, see fireworks - be around people. I suppose those errands should be run. Even though they feel far less important now. less imminent at any rate. I am not one for New Years resolutions or anything of the like - I gave up on those years ago - and kisses at midnight. But what do you guys think your 2009s will hold? what are you aspiring toward? I can easily say 'travel' because I have already put the limping ball (balls cant limp) into motion. Sisterhood of the traveling pants 1 and 2 guys - we grew up as creative and full of raw zest for creation as they have. It must - it simply must - be retapped. 3 comments|post comment

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