I was mishmashing up the song, and was singing, "There's no dollar sign on peace of mind, this I've come to know. So if you agree, have a drink with me, raise your glasses for a toast... I thank God for my life! For the stars and stripes! May freedom forever fly! and let it ring!"
And I was thinking how grateful I really am. Of course the first thing I was thinking of Theron and how thankful I am for him. How lucky I am to have found such a wonderful human being to share my life with. How perfectly cuddly and snuggly he is. How he really loves me so much and held me so comfortably this morning. I know a week from today I will be waking up alone to go start a new job... I said to him, "I don't think we've ever taken our cuddles for granted." He said, "No I would agree with that. Maybe we've taken each other for granted sometimes.." "yeah that's true." Because you get used to ppl - it's normal.
Last night at a friend's house for a great dinner out of no where he whispered, "I'm so glad we have each other."
It was out of no where, as our friend was showing us awesome etched glasses she's made. Non sequitur for sure... but I know he is thinking about how I am about to leave. It's clearly been on both of our minds a lot.
But staring out the window, making coffee, looking at the snow in this big house we are renting... having just been snuggled and helping Theron find socks in the laundry we were doing - I just felt, "Yes - I may complain i've gotten too chubby from being inactive, or any other thing, but I am truly so thankful for what I have in my life... Theron is a wonderful person and loves me..."
And you can't stop there...
My mind thinks of so many things at once - his Vice President who gave him a card after we'd gone to her house to help w/her printer, which said she was so thankful he is talented and she really enjoyed talking to me - I feel thankful for that woman!
And obviously my friend Peter - who is doing so much right now to get ready for moving into his new apartment - I am *so proud* of him! He's been taking big life changing steps the past couple years, this being a really big one for him, and he's handling it so gracefully! I know I would be a ball of stress - I am so thankful for him too! He is letting me stay with him while I work in new york because he's a wonderful friend. A true friend.
Which reminds me that a couple years ago - when I'd first moved to live w/Theron in Chicago and so many friends visited, Theron said, "I really love all your friends, they're all such good people!" I said, "Of course they are! That's why they're my friends!" And I really do have wonderful people in my life...
Again, back at the window, my mind thinking of being grateful for Theron - I can't think of being grateful for where I am now without thinking of the wonderful family that raised me. My Mom who is still my main supporter and cheerleader to this day... my Dad who has always been such a hard worker but almost always had a smile on his face and has always been there to talk to on my long walks to work. Of course my twin sister, who is my other half, who grew with me from the moment I came out of the womb, who has done projects with me and gone on innumerable adventures with me...
Of course I love my whole family - Karen is such a great cousin and friend, (Speaking of friends - can't not mention Blender!!), Dao, She She, Shar Shar - such talented, beautiful, wonderful cousins I have!
I know I am scared about embarking on a new adventure back in New York - in an area I've never lived in, without Theron... I'm nervous about a new job not having been 'in the game' for a cpl years... hoping I dont somehow screw up... hoping I can stay calm and handle things well...
And that Theron doesn't get too lonely here without me.
I laid in bed for 3 hours yesterday morning (5:30 - 8:30) my mind just thinking, thinking, thinking - not in a bad way (thank god!) but just THINKING About so much - a lot about past events...
We often reflect when moving forward I suppose.
Anyway, maybe we'll have to have a little bit of Chicken Fried tonight ^-^
Love you guys!