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So I got home from dinner, stuffed, and started responding to an email to my (and moreover my sister's) friend Thao,and the poor girl! I just couldnt seem to keep my fingers from rambling out randomness. Perhaps it's because for the past 10 days my fingers have been frustratedly pecking at keys and hitting many incorrect key combinations under the burden of very long fake nails - from which they have only today been freed. At least I think that might be part of it.
I am stuffed to the brim right now as Everel and I made our way to Jim Dandy's tonight (my first trip there). I had suggested sushi as there is a pretty decent sushi place just around the corner from our house and they give you lots of free appetizers, including porridge! But as we started to head there Ev said "what about ribs?" and so to Jim Dandy's we went. This place tries to look Texas-themed (though of course it is a very local-to-the-Rutherford area chain, having started just across RT3 in Lyndhurst) and looks like a place where lots of ppl would go to get their hands messy on ribs while watching sports on a big screen and drinking beer - which is prolly why the place is plastered with signs that encourage you to "BYOB and your friends" but tonight it was only us, and another couple, and apparently the local transient who wandered in much later for a burger. Well.... As I said in my email to Thao:
I just got back from having ribs and half a chicken "fajita" (read: weird pressed cheesy burrito-esque thing) at a small local-to-this area chain called Jim Dandy's. Decent ribs tho. now if I could only learn to NOT inhale my food - arg! I always wind up over eating and feeling miserable. I wish I knew the cause behind this. Then again I have many life lessons to learn, and at 29, am wondering if it's not a bit too late. (old dog, yadda yadda).
It's true tho - we ordered a full order of ribs of which I scarfed down over half (they were decent ribs tho, baby back ribs with a typical sweet sauce - though seriously I ate them so fast I can't give a really honest review), I also ate a side of chips n salsa, and half that weird burrito thing. It was an Ok place. Neat to have ribs anyway as it's been a while ;)
Tomorrow will be an entirely different dining experience as - after 3 years in the city - and 2 dinners at Nougatine - Peter B and I will be dining at "The best restaurant in America" (according to the James Beard award garnered back in May) aka Jean-Georges. Yes tonight was licking fingers and paper napkins, and tomorrow will be suit and dress and multiple courses served to us in a Trump building on Columbus Circle. I will say this is my number-2-having-wanted-to-go-to-forever restaurant in the city, and we are both excited.
I also work a half day 2-6 at ABC learning Avid's "interplay" system which my semi-boss (or previous boss or interim boss) Len despises. But it'll be interesting if nothing else.
And the weather is ushering fall in so nicely - Thursday's high is to be 60 degrees! In fact it is just at or below that right now. What a great temperature to walk around in (in a jacket or sweater!) and just enjoy the fact the world has this kind of amazing ability to change to fall. That the leaves are turning and drifting to the ground here and there. That Oct. 1st will in fact land gracefully, fallen-leaf-like, on that very 60-degree-high Thursday :) And what will I do on that Thursday? It's a tough call, to be true.
I feel the need to spring up and say, "Pumpkin buying! Apple picking! Hot apple cidar brewing! Jack-o-Lantern carving!!" But I also am in the midst of really really overhauling my room. Again, an excerpt from my letter to Thao:
In other news - I have decided the room I rent is in desperate need of cleaning and entirely re-doing (well u know, the whole house is, but if I am going to be here for a bit longer even still...), so I am taking everything out in order to clean, then gonna move things around, and bring things back in... and sort... and hopefully toss stuff.
Its rather ridiculous how much 'stuff' one can acquire in a few years.
So yup, as Everel assembles new dressers for me downstairs, I have been hauling bags of clothes and hobby supplies, boxes of writings and books and journals, bags of yarn and memo boards and trinkets, down to the spare bedroom and out into the other attic spaces. But I really need a whole day. A wake up early, Move This Shit Out, Rip up and rid myself of the carpet, sweep, mop, clean the walls, sit and go through all the tedious paper and clothes stuffs.... but this is all hard for me, as I look to my left and spy a container full of tennis balls (which for the past I dont even know how many years was an occupant of my car's trunk) - and I wonder... shouldn't I keep those? What if at some point Vanessa or Theron or someone wants to play tennis? Granted I dont have a racket here... but still... And of the Hello Kitty dispensers in the sanrio lunchbox... wasn't I just wanted a new dispenser for my car? Shouldnt I keep the rest to refill? Oh odds and ends and things acquired. Hello Kitty Coinpurse I no longer use, coffee travel mug full of coins, a Texas belt buckle I have every intention of... someday... getting a belt for... a box or 5 of crayons... bc u never know when u want to color!! (cool spring days are good for this)... shirts from Chinatown.. bathing suits... wine boxes and glasses and corks from wine trails over the years.. old CDs, CDs to sort thorugh, CDs that mysteriously just say "Val!" on them... printer boxes with a printer in it... old boxes full of bathroom stuff from previous bathrooms I clearly dont need. Old shoes I cant bear to part with.. users guides and discs to store- wear??? its just... too much for this girl. But im trying... oh ramble ramble.
What I am looking forward to is the potential of really redoing my living space.... Mom has thought of another placement for my bed (I have only moved it 1 time since I've lived here) and with new dressers I might even buy a new closet-like thing as the closet here is just impossible. Id like to move my TV. Id like to get the desk it sits on out of here and put it on something else. Id like to get a new big white light to hang from the ceiling, and other cool lamps (tho I have bought cool lamps before and they reside in Texas in storage)... and to paint an accent wall.. and maybe decorate it... and to have a real "Space"... i dont know... you just have to do the stuff you can with what youve got, right?
Another excerpt from letter to Thao:
- I hope my boss will say they have more work to line up for me in the future (like early October/November) but that is only hope. But hope is better than no hope right? and in the mean time I have been entertaining myself making podcasts. only 2 so far but I really enjoy it.. and its awesome to be out videoing (even if it is just myself and buildings) - and coming home and editing (with my own camera, my own firewire-> computer, my own Avid) and realize that hours have past while im putting something together. - hours that I am not stressing or in any other way trying to 'deal with' or 'avoid' life b/c i am actually doing something that is fun to me. Silly I know but there have been so many times/years where I am constantly looking for any kind of distraction (drinking, running, kayaking, softball) - its good to have good positive things to do. (volunteering at that soup kitchen, painting with yall in the bronx - those also fall into that category)... and also something that is productive/producing something (Creating as opposed to consuming) - bc otherwise I just go out to eat a lot :)
I might go to Chicago next week but I still havent decided. I could prolly get stuff for my podcasts there, and just about now the light must be great in that city - tho I worry about missing any of the fall that is rushing in on us right here right now on the East coast.
And of course if I get offered work I'd stay or ...just if i want to stick around here and work more on my room or what exactly.
Indecision is rampant in my life right now... or maybe always?
And there is a lot going on Oct 3rd. Rutherford is having a little festival in the west end near where I live (just for a few hours). The Hudson Valley Blaze starts (it happens every weekend tho - and sounds awesome, and I have to go - and I know everyone would enjoy it - as it is in or near Sleepy Hollow (Ness, are you reading this, have you heard of it?)
It feels like other stuff... Maybe just me thinking about all the stuff I 'could do' up here...
More Thao letter and a bit of reiteration:
oh and one last thing - you know how we keep saying we should go to Nougatine? And I think I mentioned it is one of those 'top chef in the city's less-expensive restaurants' like how Daniel Boulud of "Daniel" has "Bar Boulud" and Mario Batali of (food network and) "Del Posto" and "Babbo" has the lesser "Lupa" and "Otto". Well tomorrow after I work my half day my friend Peter and I are going to Nougatine's pappa restaurant "Jean-Georges" which not only has 3 Michelin stars, but this year won the James Beard award for "Outstanding Restaurant" - Huzzah!! Even still, Per Se is numero uno on my list of 'MUST GO TO' NYC restaurants before departure, but JG was definitely up there. I guess I am caring a bit less and less about them. When I first moved here I found out about Aquavit b/c they have a St Lucia festival every year (or at least on St Lucia's day they have a choir walk through the restaurant singing Swedish Christmas carols)... and was then obsessed (as I played St Lucia in a play in elementary school) - and that obsession grew as I learned there was a Joel Robuchon ("L'altelier") here - and I was obsessed with him YEARS ago when I First read about his crazy castle restaurant in Japan... er... rambling still... anyway so yea - been to Nougatine, Lupa, Otto, Aquavit twice (I still love lingonberry Aquavit but that place aint my kinda food), Joel Robuchon twice, Morimoto (which is totally doable and fun for the tuna tar tar), Russian Tea Room (ick), Petrossian, Gramercy Tavern, and a few others but... not to Per Se. not to Bernardin (which I've always spelled wrong), nor a handful of others that are the tops of the tops.... and I dunno. I guess like anything it just comes in waves. And I guess I am always trying to figure out what New York is to me. Lately it has been late nights tucked inside La Lanterna on MacDougal with great mousse (not the dessert kind, the pate kind), great salads and bruschetta, a good friend, and spicy Chilean wine. That will be even more appealing as winter comes in and the fireplaces start blazing!! It should be that.. it should be lots of things you know?? Id love NY to be walking (lots of walking - I love to walk!) in the nice areas, experiencing everything (tho I have been fortunate)... poetry readings! (I should have delved more into this maybe - and if I do another you have to come! I did 2 back around April, did you know?), filming, working jobs that pay - well.. i wish paid a lot more than they do right now - so I can then take time off and travel, but then great meals, great chats, more friends - but I do love the ones I have - just.. more more more :) Oh and Opera. as Opera season has started.
So has football season come to think of it.
Really, how can you not love the fall?
Sadly they have gotten rid of Metro Marche in Port Authority because the winter was great there - reminds me of drinking kir royals and smiling at their redness and bubbles.
But what is NYC. What can it be? I get on kicks where I feel like it can be anything. Like walking up 8th Ave to ABC and seeing Lincoln Center and working on shows - some days with my producer - which made it all worthwhile - that human interaction and the 'problem solving' of editing - and leaving and meeting Peter for a movie or AT for dinner or friends from out of town. Knowing if I worked here longer or lived up here well I'd be a hop away from seeing the Metropolitain Opera perform.. and a big long walk (or subway or taxi) down to Lanterna.. or just a walk through the west village.. the NYU area in general at night is nice.
When I first moved here I adored walking down Thompson st - until you hit Kittichai where it becomes less quaint - but then I was amazed by Chef Kittichai on Iron Chef and again liked Thompson st all the more (and ate at Kittichai and it was neat) - but that was a long time ago and a day after working at Snap! on stuff for Nickelodeon!
Then I had that whole year at NBC that tried to and sometimes made me feel I kinda sorta half fit or was half sane. And that crazy semi-kinda-boyfriend who helped me through or obliterate my nights or days. Companion of a crazy kind. And then NBC was gone, and Joey was gone, and I was a hop-skip-jump to Texas and a drive and in Chicago. Rollerblading, working strange hours, alone save for my laptop and my crazy drunken or just plain crazy roommates, and the El train, and fall swooping past us into a frigid 30 degrees the night before Halloween, and working with a great girl - both of us workaholics, probably because her boyfriend was out of the country and I was all alone - save for when my amazing family and friends visited. I remember the day David was in the city. Just knowing he was in the city wandering around made it feel so much more full of life. Not just those white buildings huddled together downtown, nor the river walked past and saying nothing to me - but a city bursting and proud because I was here the compass point and David the needle wandering all about.
And Mike came up - and we laughed at the "cuisine expert" in the visitor's center who suggested hot dogs and pizza when we asked for something truly unique, like fusion, like mind-blowing. (really i should have drug him to Moto bc he would have I think enjoyed it).
Then Ness coming and me finally having a day off so she worked and I slept curled up by space heaters and later we picked out pumpkins. Then Karen and Ness were both there - meeting me at work, glamorous and gorgeous and vibrant in the breaking night - and we went to the Hancock Tower and I realized how the Hancock tower was meant to be experienced - with amazing women giggling over the strength of the drinks and delighting in a midwestern city that knows how to make guacamole. Then later off to a BYOB but No-way-nevermind the wrong vibe and stuck in the cold rain - drinking champagne on the street next to a nameless no-markings on the door spot where gay men incognito passed in and out. And dinner at a diner and back at my house before Mike arrived the next morning and we tromped all around loving and hating the city - the weather against us.
And a bit more time, and meeting Theron for a sushi buddy, and someone who would bring us lunch or ice cream in the middle of the night to work - but not really getting to know him till after I left - that night Mom worked all day with me - that Halloween wasted working - her with her black and orange gloves - me grumbling that the final edit was taking too long and it was Halloween damnit, Halloween in this city with the great light and we're stuck all night in a dark room. And Theron meeting us, and back to my apt we went, watching all the people in my neighborhood in their costumes (everyone, everywhere, in costumes) continue their drunken party from one bar to another.
Then it was pack swiftly in the morning so the next subletter could sublet, and off on a rather disappointing roadtrip back here.
Then here, then Texas, here, Texas, here, Texas, Europe.........
Then again with the Texas and here and Texas, Chicago, here - hop scotching the cities and not staying in one place too long.
Till I've worn out my wings.
Till ABC found me.
Till I bucked up and paid for Media Match and Len called.
and I got 2 months of a gig and felt good about that.
Sure April existed. I had a new friend, and a guy I almost sort of dated, and wrote a screen play, and did 2 poetry readings, and took wonderful walks in the park with Coco and Patricia...
And then there was a muddled time of not-too-happy me as I could start smelling summer through my window and I had no job, and no direction, and neither did Peter, and Ness was just on the brink of starting somewhere, and we drove around trying to make the most of it, but not feeling so high on life anymore.. and Windy and Mom came up and I bought and made things for Ness's birthday and we all went out and I worked at ABC and Windy left and Mom left and the boys from Switzerland came and I walked with them and drank lots of starbucks and we each took them when we had time and they shopped and shopped and we went to Texas and tubed in the river and then back up to NYC and sang Karaoke and we went to Telepan for lunch and they left and Peter and I were back at Lanterna for dinner, and ABC kept me going and I had a few days of 'I dont know what to do with myself so I'll go shopping" then Theron came in and we got me a camera with some incentive via a gift card from Ness - and then it was dress shopping and Ithaca and driving and flying and Atlanta with Chet for Melissa's wedding and moments childlike and fun - eating at Sugo, walking through target, truly indulgent manicures, riding on Chet's bike, watching Camille in his home theatre as he slept and we dyed my hair. Melissa beautiful at her wedding. The next morning. my bag stolen. what can you do - thats life too and Mom already had a replacement phone on it's way when I woke up the next morning in Jersey.
and Auto adjustments and life and life and life.
And fall ...did I mention... is coming in...
and my hair is blonde and pink.
and longer than it has been in a year.
But not the longest that it has been in 3 years.
I enjoyed sitting with Peter in Washington Square park the other night talking about just things. talking about talking about philosophy.
I could have added in here (and you can sprinkle this throughout) arguments with Ness. Who I just found, going through a drawer, a card from her with a pony and a rainbow on it from my first December here - encouraging me.
And she still does, with her podcast comments, and I try, with recommending things to her. And Oh I have a councelor now that I like - but she is on vacation for 2 weeks and anyway tomorrow is counceling via Jean Georges anyway - though I never knew they had anything aside from a tasting menu.. is the prix fixe menu new? Like Per Se's salon menu?
hrmm...
And yes I've been doing podcasts. Only 2 so far but... I really like it. But I already said that. and I am just rambling... But I miss that too - at least I miss that about myself. Miss writing. Miss writing to fill time. to Kill time. to write.
havent written poetry in forever.
And should have gone for a walk today or tonight.
But that's the good thing about life - there is tomorrow.
And fall is just now starting.
And soon Ness will have made apple pie from all the apples she picked.
And Mom will be here before you know it.
And we will head up to Salem for Halloween. And we will be little creepies, little hobgoblins, Halloweenies.
yep.
Life.
We'll see huh? :)
-A Very verbose Vallers!
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